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  1. Although feelings are internal, they are often accompanied by external physical signals e.g. butterflies in the stomach may mean fear or excitment, gowing face may mean embarrassment. Certain feeling drive particular behaviours, by understanding the link between response, your interpretation and the feeling you can begin to identify your emotions in any given situation. You can develop this capability by keeping a 'feeling' diary.
  2. Self awareness is at the heart of Emotional Intelligence; Learn to understand your emotional responses by tuning into your senses, identifying your emotions and knowing your goals and conflict triggers.Take some time everyday to notice how you feel, don't wait for the large spikes of stress or fear, take a emotional gauge before this happens to prevent some of the potentially damaging situations (e.g. hit out first and regret later).
  3. Knowing your goals are key, they spur us into action. As with our emotions they are not always obvious to us. Becoming aware of our goals are key to helping us attain what we really really want. Try beliveing your behaviour i.e. if you become enthusiastic about something it's because you WANT to do it. Trust you feeling, if you feel happy, content or satisfied in a certain situation you are doing doing what you want to be doing (congruent), be honest with yourself are you doing something because that is what is expected or because you want to do it?
  4. Gauging the mood of those you are with is a huge advantage in business and helps you hit the right notes when you speak: Try this at your next meeting; by paying extra attention to how people look at one another (e.g. straight in the eye), do listeners remain foucs or do their eyes wander, do you notice people glare, frown, smile or smirk? Tune into the sounds too, are people speaking tridently or hesistant, are there mumbles when someone's talking, are people moaning, yelling or whispering?
  5. At the end of the meeting, look at all the information you have collected, what can you deduce about teh group based on this, was the team enthusiastic, were they please, did they appear to grasp the importance of the meeting and are they clear about what needs to happen next?
  6. A key aspect of Emotional Intelligence is how we manage our emotions, this is about controlling those diruptive emotions that hinder us. We may feel better after we have told a colleague or customer exactly what we think of them ... but what of the impact on our relationship, our business/careers and on our stress levels. We can change our response to a situation by adding a choice point to our neurology rather than just react. i.e. take time to think before we react.
  7. Emotional Self Management includes remaining optimistic (this increases our chances of succes and has been proven to be great for our overal health), motivated, resilient (we like to call this our bounce-back-ability). Learning our own strategies to help us even during the most difficult situations remain calm etc it vital to our long term health, relationships and careers.
  8. Relationship Management is a key component of EI and includes our ability to work in a team , influence or lead others, manage conflict etc. The most essential building block to enhancing our relationships is the ability to empathise with others. Being able to effectively out ourselves in other's shoes to help our decision making is key to bringing people with us.